What do you do when the person who gave you the gift of life, the person who nurtured you, celebrated your successes with you, who stood by you through every self inflicted disaster, who has unequivocally supported you every single day of your life with not one moment of judgement finds themselves on the receiving end of a diagnosis of a terminal disease?
Well, in my world, there’s initially lots of sobbing and tears, deep feelings of overwhelming sadness, intense helplessness, and hopelessness the likes I’ve never felt in my 63 years on this planet.
To be told that your greatest ally in life has been given the news that their magnificent life of service to their family and community is drawing to a premature inescapable end is confronting and devastating. It’s simply impossible to commit the breadth and depth of my wide ranging emotions to print. There simply aren’t sufficient words that can appropriately describe the sadness, pain, grief, fear of loss, anger…the list goes on.
And then you take a moment to stop having your own pity party. You take the time to spend 2 moons in the other person’s moccasins. You listen to the words of comfort from the one person whose words have consoled you from the very first tear you ever shed when you fell from your push bike. Warm words of wisdom from the person who made things OK when you lost your first dog. Guidance from the loving human who put your broken heart back together from the pains of first love. That reassuring voice that whispered ‘everything will be ok,’ and it was. The warm loving strength from the person whose perfectly tuned heartbeat gently rocked you to sleep when all hope in your life and your loves seemed lost.
Just as my magnificent Mum has done for the last 63 years of my life, she yet again inspires me by calmly, warmly and lovingly sharing with me that whilst she felt some sadness that her time on earth might be closing, and that it was closing well before she’d hoped it would be because she’d hoped to have been able to spend more time travelling the world with her amazing ‘First Mate’, Graham, my Mum shared that even after being given the worst news imaginable that she was at peace with her world and her Lord. Mum shared that she was thankful to have had reigned proudly, brilliantly, and lovingly as the grand matriarch to her close and extended family, and was thankful for her incredible life and for the opportunity to be a person who faithfully served her community in her time on this earth.
That my friends is courage at its finest. Those are the words, actions and the key character traits of one of the finest leaders I’ve ever had the honour to work under and alongside.
Mum’s inspiring courage, and her immediate instinct in the moment to worry more about those around her rather than to consider her own emotional pain from having been given the news that most of us would dread yet again, show that great mums like mine continue to teach us important life lessons. Even at 87.
My Mum has lived a life filled with incredible optimism. She has weathered storms that would leave others marooned on the rocks or run aground on a lost island. Her trademark Teflon coating has helped her blaze a trail for her sisters, her community, her Lord and for social justice.
Having closed my short-lived pity party down, and yet again having been inspired by my Mum’s true grit and eternal optimism, I found myself trying to understand my role in the road that lays ahead for us all.
How does a Son deal with the impending loss of his amazing Mum?
Well, in my crazy world and having been inspired by Mum’s love of all things music, parties, and community, throwing a party seemed like a perfectly appropriate ‘Brewer’ thing to do.
With time being of the essence and with my wonderful co-conspirator Tara on the team, we set about putting together a fitting shindig that would call on Mum’s community, her church, her friends and her family to come together for a day of appreciation, music, accolades, celebration, and to honour a life lived to the absolute max. Armed with a clear mission and a deep passion to give her community an opportunity to shower Mum with some much needed love we set about putting together a very special day that would hopefully give my Mum the biggest group hug ever seen and some reasons to smile at a challenging time in life..
One of the many things Mum has taught me is, ‘If you don’t ask, you don’t get.’ And so, with those words of wisdom ringing in my ears, I set about doing some ‘asking’…
The first ‘ask’ was to find a place to party. In Mum’s case, none better than the Old Shire Clerks Cottage of which she had Chaired the restoration. Tick!
Next up, we needed some entertainment to keep the spirits high and to honour Mum’s lifetime love of music. A musical career that had seen her travel far and wide as an accomplished cabaret singer. A few phone calls later and we’d acquired the services of an 18 piece showband, my wonderful nephew Mikey and his melodic Mate Seamus on guitar, and the multi talented brilliance of the amazing Laura Doolan.
And just for the hell of it, we also scored the plucking extraordinary Don Lewers for a couple of cameos on banjo.
Musical talent acquired. Tick!
Mum’s life of community service has gone largely unrecognised. I simply don’t have the space on this page to detail what Mum has achieved for her community, her church and people in times of personal crisis. And whilst Mum has been awarded by HRH Queen Elizabeth II with a Silver Jubilee Medal and been recognised by Quota as their Woman Of The Year, it was a tremendous moment to receive a call from Joan Pease MLA – Member for Lytton advising she wanted to induct my Mum into the Hall of Fame as a Bayside Great. Tick!
A bit more work, and I was reduced to ugly tears on hearing that retiring Anglican Archbishop of Brisbane, Philip Aspinall, had arranged for one of his Bishops to hand-deliver a letter of appreciation, love, thanks, and of faith to Mum at our event. Tick!
My own magnificent children Sam and Lauren agreed to honour their Nanna by MC’ing the afternoons festivities. A joyful, loving character building experience for them both, and a display of love and appreciation to their Nanna that has forever captured her heart. Tick!
All we needed was a gathering of people to shower my Mum, the kids Nanna Iris, and little baby Sydney Iris Brewer’s Great Grandmother with love. Tick!
And with all that organised to run like clockwork in just 2 weeks of preparation, we just needed someone we know and respect to capture the loving stories and memories on video for Mum (and family) to enjoy and reminisce on during times of reflection on Mum’s wonderful life. Thank you, Graham Werner. You nailed it. Tick!
What ensued was a day I know warmed my Mum’s heart. It was a long overdue day to honour an amazing human.
And yes, It was yet another lesson to me on what’s truly important in life. It was a graphic smack in the face with the back of a chair for me on just how many times I’d put business ahead of family. The one too many times that I’d brushed one of Mum’s kind dinner invitations aside because I was too tired, too busy, or too lazy to savour more magical moments with my Mum while I could. And so I continue to learn to be a better human because of her teachings. And I hope in some way she’s teaching us all with her dignity, optimism, and her fierce fight for her life.
There are so many stories to tell of my Mum, and I suspect there’ll be a book at some stage. But for now, please enjoy a few video and photo snippets of the day of appreciation in honour of my beautiful Mum. <3
Don’t miss Lauren’s beautiful words of love and appreciation at the 25.38 minute mark
March 14 2023:
A very warm and kind presentation to Mum of a Paul Harris Fellowship by the Wynnum Rotary Club
Address to Rotary Members by Club President
“For our newer members, a very brief history lesson.
Rotary was founded in Chicago USA in 1905 by a
gentleman by the name of Paul Harris.
A Paul Harris Fellow award (or a PHF as we
generally call it) is a highly esteemed recognition of
people who have done extraordinary things, and
these awards carry our founder’s name. A PHF is
awarded to someone who has given service above and beyond what is
considered to be the “norm”, usually for a prolonged period of time, for the benefit of the
community and the world at large. Recipients may be from within our Rotary Club members and
partners, or someone in our community.
As our members are aware, we recently started planning an event to recognise community
members with Paul Harris Fellow awards, with a presentation evening to be held later in the year.
Very early in the process of planning the Community PFH night, we received a nomination for Iris
Brewer to be recognised for her work in the community.
In view of her personal circumstances, we are presented Iris with her award last week, ahead of
the event later in the year.
Some of us are aware that Iris and her family had a successful real estate business in the Bayside
area. Via this nomination, we have also come to learn Iris has been involved in numerous
community activities and projects since the 1960’s. However Iris played crucial roles in 3
particular projects, and they are:
Meals On Wheels: Iris organised a few friends (of which some we most likely Rotarians) and her
Church to establish the first Meals on Wheels service into our local community. A vital service that
has benefited many elderly and disadvantaged citizens for many years.
Waterloo Bay Leisure Centre: Iris was one of 3 major forces behind the establishment of the
Waterloo Bay Leisure Centre. Wynnum apparently used to have an old smelly building in Tingal
Rd where the Leisure Centre now stands. Iris and her cohort saw the potential on what the site
could be used for. Again, Iris organised some friends, opened a thrift shop in Florence St called
“The Box” and raised the money to build that centre as you see it today. On opening Day, it was
completely debt free. She was an integral part of the establishment of the centre, liaising with
Council and finding the funding source.
(Iris and family, you may not be aware that our Club currently hires the area below the rear of the
Leisure Centre to store our equipment.)
The Shire Clerk’s Cottage: On the day the Leisure Centre was opened, Iris had the opportunity to
speak to the Council about the near derelict old cottage next door. The council of the day didn’t
appreciate the history of the cottage. Iris informed the council of it’s historical value, and
requested permission to restore it. Permission was duly granted with a 100 year lease for $1.00.
Iris chaired a committee to restore the cottage and the rest is history.
There are other tales about Iris’s other talents as a singer and entertainer.
One in particular, PP Eric Batten recounts the history of the Rotary Concert
Band, which had about 45 players back in its day. The Salvation Army asked
the Rotary Concert Band to play Christmas Carols in front of the Pelican’s
Nest. Rotary then asked Iris to take the microphone and lead the singing that
made the event a big success.
Iris, it is people such as yourself who are the cornerstone of community. The local Wynnum &
Manly Community has a lot to be thankful for what you have done. Call it your legacy, if you will.
Until now, most of us here in this room (and I dare say most of the local
population) had no idea of your valuable contributions to this community, and
we figure it’s time for that to change.
Thanks to Graham, Michelle and Lauren for being able to attend the meeting for
this presentation. Iris is also well known to some members of our Rotary
family – in particular Graham & Audrey Pearson, Rev Sandy & Judy Marshall,
and Eric Batten. It is lovely for you all to be here to share this moment with
Iris.
In conclusion, Iris, it’s with very great pleasure that our club now you with this award and
commemorative pin”
The End Of An Era – April 24 2023
It is with heartbreaking sadness and deep personal loss that I share that my amazing Mum, Iris Ena Brewer, passed away at 5.30am yesterday morning April 24 2023.
My Mum was an eternal optimist and tower of strength her entire life, but more so over the last 4 months as she fought an insidious cancer that had invaded her body.
Mum lived an incredible life of service. She excelled at everything she did.
Cabaret Singer, Fundraiser, Real Estate Agent, Auctioneer, Community Worker, Marriage Counsellor, Dressmaker, Photo Colourist, Church Leader…and the list goes on.
But most of all, she was my Mum. Mum has been my guiding light for my entire 63 years. Never wavering. Never questioning. She’s been there every step of the journey to dust me off, straighten me up, and point me back in the right direction.
She’s been an incredible Grandmother to Sam and Lauren instilling them with amazing values and life skills that only a Nanna can impart.
Mum left us on her terms yesterday. As the ambulance arrived to take her from her home to hospital, her Priest anointed her forehead with oil and read Psalm 6 to her. It was a warm, special moment.
Mum was pain free, at total peace, and ready to go. She spent less than less than 18 hours in hospital before her Lord called her home. There were no words left unsaid. She knew she was loved, and we knew that she loved us.
Our hearts are broken and we will miss her so very much.
A celebration of her life will be held in Wynnum at St Peter’s Church next Tuesday, May 2, at 10:30am.
A little-known fact is that Mum was a cabaret singer, musician, and recording artist. In the musical archives, I found Mum, in concert for the ABC, singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” If you’ve got 3 minutes, please take the time to enjoy her beautiful voice while viewing some snapshots of her incredible life.
Iris Brewer’s Funeral Service – St Peter’s Church – Wynnum – May 2nd 2023 – Peter’s Eulogy
