Let me help you make my dreams come true!

As our team motto says:

“The worst thing you can be is gullible”

My friend told me that means you’re prone to random attacks by seagulls

Rarely does the opportunity come along for simple gullible people to do something simple and special for someone else that would, in just a few short moments, and after about a dozen keystrokes, significantly change someone’s life.

Now I can’t guarantee which one of our lives will change, but If I was a betting man, i’d say the odds are strongly with me…

Today is your chance to make a difference!

For over 60 years i’ve dreamed of living a life of being a lazy bum sitting on a beach sipping cold beers. And now, given that my OnlyFans account has been suspended in disgrace, this is probably the end of the road for my dream.

But thankfully, you’ve come along! You’re probably my last hope.

So what’s it gunna be? Are you going to change my life and leave your banking details below for me so that I can pursue my beach bumming dream? I’m gunna need your BSB, Account number, and full name.

*Bonus points if you give me your pin #. It’ll save me Googling it if you’re an Optus customer…

Or are you just going to PayPal me a few bucks for a beer?

Choose wisely!