Have you ever heard a variation of the above, perhaps in reference to a work colleague? I have. Too many times.

It might seem cute, smart or tough to the cool kids but, at its best, it’s what you’d expect from shameless, tacky, sad, out-of-touch business dinosaurs whose management skills have been left behind in an era of misogyny and no respect.

Now I’m not saying every real estate business is ablaze with the same archaic ethos on how to treat their team members, but I can still see some burning embers and smouldering ashes on the horizon. And those embers and ashes need to be starved of the oxygen that fuels them, and some urgent back burning done, to prevent any future conflagration.

Currently, there are two very bright and very big red flags being waved at the real estate profession in Australia, and I have a genuine concern way too many in our profession are turning a blind eye and hoping those waving flags will go away.

For those still in ostrich mode, the breaking news is that those red flags are going to get bigger and the ramifications for those who choose to ignore them are perilous.

RED FLAG #1: Changes to Workplace Health and Safety Laws are effective from April this year.

Amended Work Health and Safety Regulations prescribe how businesses must identify and manage hazards and risks to workers’ psychological health and safety.

From April 1, business owners need to consider and review approaches to managing psychosocial risks and fostering mentally healthy workplaces. All staff must be able to enjoy a mentally

healthy work environment and return home at day’s end free from mental health challenges caused in or by their workplace.

The days of bullying, exclusion, imbalance, disrespect, and not providing team members a physically and mentally safe work place are over. No more talk of ‘teaspoons of cement.’ No more turning a blind eye to workplace conflict. No more acceptance of abusive language or advances from clients and customers being directed at your staff.

If you’re not sure if something is or isn’t right in your business, consider this test: Can you justify any of your actions by finishing the statement with, “Your Honour”? For example, “Yes, I told Sharon that when Landlord Joe called her a ‘useless mole,’ he was just venting and to just ignore it because he always speaks to our staff that way and he means well, Your Honour,” or, “Yes, I told Julie to just nip up and mop the floors and give the bathroom a clean before she left for home the other night, even though it’s not in her job description, Your Honour.”

RED FLAG #2: The continuing diminishing number of Property Managers entering our profession, and the alarming increase in the rate at which existing Property Managers are evacuating the profession.

In the context of those two massive red flags, the figures below from a survey of 773 Australian Property Managers should have almost every real estate business owner reaching for the Ventolin and breaking out in a cold sweat.

Reader discretion warning.
You may wish to get a cold cloth before you read on.

The survey shared:

53% of Property managers surveyed said they struggle with mental health issues and switching off after work

37% of property managers completely agree their job offers good career opportunities, down from 56% in 2018.

52% of property management offices have changed software over the past two years. Only 34% of property managers believe they have the tools they need to do their job properly.

Only 34% believe they have been given the training they need to successfully manage their role.

And wait for the crème de la crème.

60% of Property Managers say the biggest challenge of the job is dealing with aggressive or abusive landlords or tenants and…wait for it…only 38% of principals agree with that.

Do you hear the alarm bells and see the ticking time bomb here?

Seems to me that adopting a strategy of telling people to take ‘a spoonful of cement’ and harden the f#ck up in the current, or for that matter, any environment might not be the wisest of strategies.

It’s crystal clear to me that the workplace model in property management in our fine land is, in the main, broken; not irreparably, but definitely on life support and in need of urgent surgery. And it’s only a matter of time before the first significant claim is awarded against an ignorant business for not putting someone’s physical and mental well-being at the forefront of their obligations to employees.

It’s not just in the treatment of people in the workplace. It’s also about what’s expected of them in the workplace.

If you’ve
…been avoiding training new people up until now; or
…relied on poaching staff from other businesses by offering them more money but not giving them an enriched role in the business (and yes, I recently read a statement saying, “I don’t train property managers; I poach them instead.” WTAF); or
…been OK with overloading your PMs with unfulfilling work; or

…thought to yourself or expressed out loud that people just need to ‘harden up’ in your business; then…

there’s a very large karma bus headed your way.

The obligation moving forward will be to send staff home in the same fit mentality they came into work with, and that could mean restructuring an entire business so that they’re not overworked and realistic expectations are set and met by all parties.

From my perspective, the significant difference between property managers are those who can do higher-level tasks – building relationships, growing and retaining business, maintaining a client’s asset, and negotiating with tenants – and admin roles whose tasks can include lease preparation, bonds, maintenance scheduling, and tradesperson follow-up. And, honestly, the advances in proptech have enabled the idea of a global workforce for even a single business owner.

Property managers are locally-based face-to-face relationship specialists within a real estate business, and should be treated and paid accordingly. Admin roles, which aren’t public-facing, can be in-house or, more often than not, outsourced; in many cases, to VAs in a very efficient and cost-effective manner.

My crystal ball doesn’t show that the industry is going to be flooded with thousands of new property managers anytime soon.

So that means, treasure the ones you’ve got and treat them a whole lot better than many have been treated up to today. Start preparing to train the next generation of property managers. Restructure the department’s workload so the appropriate people are doing the appropriate tasks, so specialists are doing specialists’ work and admin tasks are being done by admins.

Invest in your team’s ability to deal with conflict and how to look after their mental health by booking them into specialty events like Hayley Mitchell’s PM Reach Mindset – Wellness – Resilience Events

You’ve got to start today. Otherwise, you may be facing a very expensive claim against you and your business soon.

Not sure where to start when it comes to using VA’s effectively and outsourcing those admin tasks?

There are options aplenty!

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Join my webinar The Challenge Of Change and How To Stay Relevant

Visit Cloudstaff or join me on a study tour to Cloudstaff’s HQ in the Philippines in either November or December to see how hundreds of Australian businesses like yours have lowered the red flags in their businesses.

Or keep handing out those cups of cement, and let me know how that strategy turns out for you.

That irritating question gets posed by my long and faithful dentist every six months for as long as I can remember.

Each time, I tell her the same porky, and she gives me a stern warning that I need to get into better habits. (Hardly breaking news for anyone who knows me.)

At the end of every six-month check-up, my dentist hands me a piece of paper entitled ‘Urgent Treatment Plan.’ This is supposed to consist of the work she wants to perform. What it really consists of is lots of codes, numbers, and names which mean absolutely nothing to me.

My fortunately numbed jaw starts to gape at the bottom line of $3,200 and the thought of having to spend yet another 4 hours in her chair.

So, every 6 months, it’s the same old story:
– Go to dentist.
– Get asked if I’m flossing. Lie and say ‘yes’.
– Depart with my Urgent Treatment Plan.
– Make promises I won’t keep: “Yes, I’ll floss more,” and, “I will definitely

make a booking for this Urgent Treatment Plan.”

So far, I’ve survived six visits to my fluoride farmer without my face falling off even with my broken promises. This has deepened my suspicion that my real-life tooth fairy is upselling me a plan that will fund the next Mykonos trip or newest Porsche. Other than a piece of paper with lots of confusing numbers and symbols, there’s been no evidence that things are getting feisty in my fangs.

Quietly, I was feeling confident after my last visit with her that all was well in the ol’ North and South.

Fast forward 5 months later.

Forgive me father, but I am weak of flesh and, in a momentary lapse, I strayed from my porcelain polishing friend and ended up in the reclining chair of a different dentist. (In my defence, this new dentist had a vacancy that wasn’t 3 months away and he offered exceptional car parking.)

Lying back in the chair, I had an eerie moment of déjà vu. The first words from Billy, my newfound man of molars, were…you guessed it…

“Have you been flossing?”

(Is this the dental version of ‘How’s the market?’ And has anyone ever said, “Yes,” and meant it?)

Anyway, I lied and said I had. He suggested I needed better habits. I nodded. He nodded. Both of us knew that I hadn’t and wouldn’t.

Then, it was business as usual. My new dentist poked and prodded, took X- rays, said ooh and ahh a lot, and gave my trusty choppers a buff and polish, making them sparkle again.

Visit over, on cue, he printed off my “Urgent Treatment Plan.” And yep, this one had all those mysterious codes and unrecognisable words and the total of $3200.

This time, though, something different happened. While I was still firmly strapped down in the dental chair, spotlight shining directly in my eyes, Billy turned on his ceiling-mounted TV and, tooth by tooth, showed me each and every stress crack, broken filling, and gap hiding behind my velvet lips.

Yowza! What I witnessed in that cavernous enclave had more holes than St Andrews.

Armed with this evidence, and with eleven simple words, Billy was able to book his next Santorini holiday: “Would you prefer to start your urgent treatment plan today or Friday?”

What could I say? What could I do? I couldn’t deny it any longer. The evidence was right there. The cakehole had definitely seen too much cake. My oral orifice was overdue for some observation. What Billy showed me, up close and personal, was that my once magnificent molars needed some serious renovation if I wanted to continue indulging my deep love for a medium rare 500gram rib fillet.

That Urgent Treatment Plan I’d, in the past, dutifully filed in my trusty rubbish filing bin wasn’t just another piece of paper with an unsolvable and easily ignorable puzzle anymore. No, seeing is believing, and I commenced my treatment plan with Billy that day.

Is this tome really about teeth? What am I really rambling about here? This Tale of Terrible Teeth is a metaphor.

We kid ourselves every day that everything is AOK in our personal and business world. But what has served us well for the last 20, 30, 40 or 50 years probably, despite our protestations or how much we try to kid ourselves we’re immune to this rapidly changing world, doesn’t serve us at all anymore. Our personal and business lives are in need of some attention.

Maybe you’ve acknowledged this already. Maybe you’ve even seen your own Urgent Treatment Plan for your business but, up until now, it’s been indecipherable to you. And maybe, just like flossing, you swear you’ll do it moving forward, but keep putting it on the back burner.

If you’re an avid reader of mine, you’ll know I’m more than a little obsessed with the sustainability of existing business models. Of more recent times, I’ve been specifically focused on the effective use of VAs (virtual assistants) in real estate businesses.

You see, I’ve heard successful real estate agencies and agents talk about how VAs have totally transformed the way they do business. But, just as I was skeptical of any Urgent Treatment Plan fixing my fangs, I was also dubious whether VAs trained in real estate and located in the Philippines could honestly have the skills, knowledge, and capacity to truly support the admin, property management, and sales support functions of a modern Australian real estate business.

There was only one way to make me believe, and that was to see behind the scenes – all the details – with my own eyes.

So, I traveled to the Philippines and Cloudstaff’s offices to spend real quality time with Cloudstaff VAs specialising in real estate. I can now say that I’ve been able to witness firsthand their work to help streamline the back-end engine rooms of hundreds of Australian businesses.

I can also confidently tell you that if you’re looking for your own Urgent Treatment Plan for your real estate business and cost-effective, reliable solutions to your PM, Admin, and Sales support problems, it’s time for you to face facts for yourself.

Whether you’re cautiously curious or simply skeptical or just plain sitting on the fence about VAs and how they can:
a) rid you of your HR woes;
b) help streamline your systems;

c) grow your culture; and
d) free up your PM leaders to focus less on leaky taps and more on positive growth;

then you should join me on my next study tour to the Phillipines in December. We’ll fly into Manila, visit the impressive and secure Cloudstaff buildings, soak up the amazing culture of the Philippine’s #1 Workplace, examine case studies of businesses just like yours, and, if you’re ready, meet and interview your own VA.

There’s a saying, “Only floss the teeth you want to keep.” If you’re going to continue to crumple up your business’ Urgent Care Plan and refile it into your own ‘special bin’ instead of directly addressing your business’ problems, which part of your business are willing to let go of?

Seeing is believing.

Like to know more?.. Give me a call on 0417630962, visit Cloudstaff online, or join my webinar on October 4th and let’s fix those cracks, broken parts, and gaping holes in your business today.

It’d be incredibly unkind of me to generalise the entire real estate profession as having a reputation for being cautious with their coins. In fact, I’ve witnessed first-hand some incredible acts of generosity from real estate people across Australia, New Zealand, and in the USA.

But I can’t deny that I’ve seen more than a handful of business owners break into a cold sweat when they’ve misplaced their 2 for 1 coffee voucher.

There’s a great old saying; ‘If you look after the pennies, the pounds will look after themselves.’ It’s a well respected truism that’s served a legion of smart business people really well. Keeping a watchful eye on the skinny margins and knowing your percentages and numbers down to last dollar is mission critical.

And in a business vertical that’s feeling increasing pressure on its margins, it’s never been more more important.

Sadly, experience tells me that good financial management, including properly segmenting and reporting on each department as its own profit centre, is actually a rarity.

Having an intimate knowledge of whether your PM or Sales departments are making you a dollar or costing you a motza independent of each other is one of the most important monthly measurements to be ruthlessly analysed.

Mopping the sweat off your brow and emitting a sigh of relief because you’ve had 4 great months and a bank statement with no red numbers or minus signs on it doesn’t cut it as advanced financial management.

With operational costs on the up, and income on the decline in most businesses, profit margins are getting slammed, and that ill considered master plan of buying 2 new cars, a holiday house and a new Rolex during the recent boom, coupled with 12 consecutive interest rate rises, is starting to suck a little for some…

f you’re a frequent reader of my ramblings, you’ll be aware of my regular references to the various bytes of wisdom programmed into me by some of this industry’s finest mentors.

I’m not talking about cute one liners from the self appointed soothsayers with inflated egos, deflated bank accounts, and a course to flog, but genuine golden nuggets of genius from those that were/are relentless in knowing to the exact half a percent how their business was/is tracking.

They’re the fearless seasoned leaders that know when hard logical business decisions need to be made, usually long before other business owners have noticed a blip on the radar. They’re the true business leaders with genuine courage.

In 1964, the great Bob Dylan wrote; ‘The times they are a changin’.’ The song is a heralding call to existing and emerging generations that change is inevitable.

Dylan writes; “And admit that the waiters around you have grown, And accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone’. ‘If your time to you is worth saving, then you’d better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone, for the times they are a changin’.

As the market forces change, and as I visit more and more businesses and study their finances, operational processes and use of personnel, I’m feeling that there’s a really important message in Dylan’s lyrics; …. ‘Your old road is rapidly agin’, Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend a hand, For the times they are a changin’.’

My early Mentors were wise about using their resources effectively.

Resources are Time, People, and Money. They’re pretty much the same for every business. Time, People, Money. They are the most common levers to pull when adjustments must be made.

One of the first things I do if I’m considering taking on a new client is to ask them to do some genuine self assessment via some simple questions. It helps me decide if they’re honest with themselves and whether we’re gunna be a good fit. It goes a little like this

Play along at home if you like.

1. Are you making the absolute best use of your time at work and play? Should you really be doing the things you do each day?

2. Are you getting the most out of your people? Are they doing the tasks that best fit their skill level? Are your ‘people people’ wasted being admin people?

3. Is every dollar of your money spent wisely?

4. Would you genuinely employ every single one of your existing team members if they re-applied for their roles today? Would their role even be needed today?

5. Are you open to new ways of doing business? How’d you do?

Heeding Dylan’s words, I’ve been spending a lot of time observing the changes happening across the real estate industry and exploring alternative solutions to ensure that businesses get the most of those resources of time, people, and money.

Along with valuable insights from stellar business luminaries such as Cloudtsaff CCO Wayne Bucklar, Business Profitability Analyst, Dean Yeo, I’m looking forward to sharing what I’ve learned with all of you on my upcoming webinar”The Challenge Of Change and How To Stay Relevant”

Register here to attend or to receive a recording of this informative session.

I was on the receiving end of some really tough feedback from a close business colleague of mine recently. He’s not one to mince words and the feedback he delivered hit me in the face with a chair. (Figuratively of course, no chair or face was actually harmed in the delivery.) And his feedback hurt deeply, because it’s an approach on life I’ve prided myself on for decades.

The two words he delivered were simple, but cutting. His hurtful words? “You’ve changed.”

To add some context, I’d like to think I’ve earned a trademark as a guy who challenges the status quo. If there’s some zigging going on, I’m zagging. If the invitation says black tie, I’m the guy in the open neck shirt and colourfully patterned jacket. If they tell me no, I’m looking for the yes.

I’ve never been one to adhere to weary meaningless traditions just because that’s what they did in the good old days. Hey, if we all were inflexible to change, we’d be driving horses and carts to work and we’d have to trek to the thunder box in the back yard for our daily ablutions.

So, to be told that I’ve changed hit me pretty hard, and had me reflecting on his words.

Take this quiz with me. (And if you’re not sure if you can answer the questions, you may need to phone a friend.)

1. Have you ever thought or said, “Get off my lawn”?
2. Do you find yourself thinking, “Kids these days…”
3. Do you find that it now takes you all night to do what you used to do all night?
4. Have you contemplated yelling at a cloud?
5. Do your dentures glow in the dark?
6. Do more than two body parts complain when you get out of your chair?
7. Have you ever started a sentence with, “Back in my day…”?
8. Have you ever justified something in your personal or work life with, ‘That’s the way we’ve always done it around here’?
9. Do you find that you hate noisy bars and restaurants, but your TV is turned more than halfway up?
10. Have you ever muttered under your breath, “Bloody P platers”? Bonus questions:
11. Do your more-than-amply-bushy eyebrows bristle when somebody says something about Boomers?
12. Have you ever mumbled, “These young people need to toughen up. Back in my day, interest rates were 17%.”

If you’ve answered or even nodded yes to any of these questions, you won’t need Google or WebMD to diagnose you’re suffering from a severe case of Old Farts Disease.

Those of us with OFD may feel resigned to their destinies.

It’s too easy for people of my vintage to lose their flexibility, not just in body, but in mind, spirit, and business. It’s too easy to just take the same road to work every day, break for lunch at noon, and watch the news at 6pm every night with a warm cup of Milo.

Fear not, my fellow follically challenged friends. There is hope on the horizon, although the sun may be appearing to set faster on our particular horizon.

Breaking news, my friends. If you’ve spent your life whinging about ‘the minorities’ having too much of a say and you’re now at least a sexagenarian, guess what – we Boomers are now in the minority.

So, are you now:

Talking about and receptive to ideas your family or kids may have around climate change, mental health, or supporting a different team (whether that’s in footy or around sexuality)?

Talking to staff or work colleagues in an open and respectful manner around work-life balance, working from home versus working in the office, three-day versus five-day work weeks, and overall working hours?

Sharing roles – are they good, bad, or indifferent about them?

How are you staying relevant? Are you attending industry events? Are you listening to new podcasts or subscribing to different newsletters? How do you embrace new ideas?

In the real estate business, especially, you have to keep an open mind, have a preparedness to embrace change, and a insatiable passion for growth.

Register here for this information packed webinar on October 4th where I’ll be discussing these things more in-depth. Or, if you insist on being old school and seeing things in the flesh, join me on my next tax- deductible study tour to the Philippines in early November or December where I’ll be presenting on 5 new old ways of doing business that helped me and will help you stay relevant in this faster-paced world.

I mean seriously, it’s become unavoidable! 

How’s your AI going? Has it made life simpler for your EBU? 

Are you using a PA or VA to keep your CRM in A1 condition?  

Is your BDM testing the CTA on your CMA to ensure you get a solid ROI on your CTR?  Or does your CMO handle that KPI?

Is your head hurting as much as mine these days? I can already hear more than a few of you screaming WTAF!  Can someone please pass me an IPA! It’s a jungle out there folks!   If I don’t meet my KPIs ASAP there’s a strong chance the COO will tell me to POQ and DCM.  

If your answer to any of the above is FIIK, then you should probably read on.

Last week I rabbited on at length about the seemingly endless pursuit some in our profession have for the elusive silver bullet to propel their careers into the next stratosphere. It’s a post that got a few tongues wagging. I’m OK with that. I don’t mind poking the bear to get a conversation going, so It’s probable that I’ll tilt a few toupees with this post as well.  

Today I’m sharing some thoughts on what I see as the new real estate workforce. It’s actually new to some, but it’s been BAU for up to a decade for many early adopters.   

Last week I mentioned my Dad and his business wisdom. Dad and I worked together really successfully in the 1980s and 1990s. He was a tough taskmaster who taught me well. I reckon I can hear him saying: “I taught Peter everything he knows, but not everything I know”. 

Business was a tad different back in the early 1980s. And before you start arguing with me, do me a favour and run your eyes across my first business card.  

The year was 1981.

Notice anything different?  

No mobile phone.

No email address.

No website.

No social media icons – not even one!

No Captains Bazillion Dollar Club badge.

Not even a damn fax number!

Our office communications were limited to a two-way radio tower on the outhouse roof. We had none of the tech that enables a modern-day agent, yet we somehow still managed to make a dollar to fund a few frosties at the Cleveland Sands Hotel on a Friday night, along with a mortgage on a 13% interest rate. 

Real estate life was very different back when I had my own teeth and hair. 

Just quickly on the topic of losing hair, I asked my Barber for a discount last week. His answer was brilliant. He simply said: “Peter, no discounts for you. We’re charging you a Finder’s Fee these days”. LOL!  I think he’d make an outstanding real estate salesperson.

Now before you think you’re about to hear a sob story about the good old days from an out-of-touch old Boomer, let me go out on a limb here and actually say that I think the craft of real estate is a way tougher gig these days. There, I said it. I agree that it’s a tougher business in 2023. No BS. 

Which is actually a bit fascinating. Not fascinating because a silly old Boomer is actually acknowledging that a younger generation has a tougher gig, but because even with the addition of some amazing technology that’s been designed and developed to make the business of real estate simpler over the past 40 years, I think it’s actually made it more complex for a single salesperson! 

In our quest to consistently deliver all that’s required at a premium level to be regarded as numero uno, many in our profession have been left with a SNAFU business that’s incredibly inefficient, not achieving its true potential, and worse, driving them towards real estate career dreams that are RIP.

One of the most common FAQ’s I get as I travel AUS and NZ is from salespeople and business owners wanting to know when and how to scale. It’s possibly the single most important SOS call that any business needs to respond to urgently.

From the SWOTs that I’ve done, it’s very apparent to me that the most successful salespeople understand that the most effective way they can scale their business is through the best deployment of all available resources.

ICYMI, I’ll repeat it for the people up the back. The most effective way they can scale their business is through the best deployment of ALL available resources.   

These resources are: Time, People and Money. And very few of us have an infinite supply of any of them, so we need to use them very wisely.

And FWIW, the most common question I’m posed from good salespeople who want to grow their business is what is the best growth model? 

The answer at the risk of seeming that I’m going AWOL on you is that the right model is different for everyone.  

My view is that it’s gotta be a tailored solution that reflects your strengths and identifies the areas where your business would benefit from someone else helping you with some heavy lifting. 

Are you ready to invest the time, money and risk into building a full EBU? Does a SWOT of your business you say you’ve got the time, skills and budget to risk $180-200K to take that leap?

At $65K a year, would employing one good, part-time PA capable of tidying up your paperwork, doing some data entry, picking up your dry cleaning or kids and booking the occasional flight, make sense for your business now?  

At around $28K a year, is the concept of having a cost-effective, highly disciplined, multi-skilled VA, trained in doing tasks the exact way that you want them done, a logical way to help you on the path to achieving your businesses SMART goals?

As a researcher of trends, I’m seeing a growing trend where more and more successful agents and businesses are taking the VA route. It’s freeing up their front-line people to spend more face-to-face time with their current and potential clients to create deeper relations and more opportunities to make more money. 

I think most businesses have a simple choice to make. Keep up, or be left behind. It’s pretty simple. You could reprint my 1980s business cards and pretend that all this emerging tech isn’t necessary to your relevance as a business and as base service fundamentals to your customers. 

Or you can keep doing laps in that bowl of alphabet soup.

TBH, it’s a no brainer for me. Taking that first step to scale is a fear that cripples many.  But as my kids would say, YOLO!  

PS: If you’d like to banter about salespeople and businesses who are using VAs effectively to scale up, give me a call or flick me an email whenever suits you. I’m available AM and PM. 

PPS: How’s your FOMO?  Go on! FFS… JFDI!

PPS: And if the very thought of managing an EBU, PA or VA puts you in the ICU, fear not my BFFs. I’ll write about that soon too. 

*This article was definitely not written using any form of ai. #ltfu

Let me help you make my dreams come true!

As our team motto says:

“The worst thing you can be is gullible”

My friend told me that means you’re prone to random attacks by seagulls

Rarely does the opportunity come along for simple gullible people to do something simple and special for someone else that would, in just a few short moments, and after about a dozen keystrokes, significantly change someone’s life.

Now I can’t guarantee which one of our lives will change, but If I was a betting man, i’d say the odds are strongly with me…

Today is your chance to make a difference!

For over 60 years i’ve dreamed of living a life of being a lazy bum sitting on a beach sipping cold beers. And now, given that my OnlyFans account has been suspended in disgrace, this is probably the end of the road for my dream.

But thankfully, you’ve come along! You’re probably my last hope.

So what’s it gunna be? Are you going to change my life and leave your banking details below for me so that I can pursue my beach bumming dream? I’m gunna need your BSB, Account number, and full name.

*Bonus points if you give me your pin #. It’ll save me Googling it if you’re an Optus customer…

Or are you just going to PayPal me a few bucks for a beer?

Choose wisely!

Do you really know what your Customer wants/needs?

Are you 100% sure?

Do you sell something other than Kaftans?

Does One-Size really fit all?

Please indulge me for a minute while I share a quick story…

Last weekend while on my traditional fresh food market shopping spree I bought a handful of Italian sausages from a local butcher. We got into a chat and he shared with me a conversation he’d recently had with another of his local customers. In this case, the owner of a local pizzeria who was also a connoisseur of his Italian sausages, but to the tune of 20kg of the spicy specimens each and every week.

The story goes that my recently befriended purveyor of all things bovine had inquired of the the Pizza shop owner how those 20 kilos of Italy’s finest snags were served on his menu?

• Maybe, with a spicy Italian sauce on a bed of mash, and a fresh crisp mediterranean salad?

• Possibly with a serving of grilled polenta and some duck fat wedges accompanied by a medley of roasted zucchini and carrots with a hint of garlic and rosemary?

Nope. The Pizzeria man replied. “None of that”, he said.

He shared that each week he stands for 3 hours and squeezes every ounce of the brilliantly blended chorizo infused concoction out of those sausage casings so that little marbles of pepperoni, parsley, pepper, and prosciutto can adorn his famous Spicy Italian Pizza!

“The Butcher Stood with a stunned and aghast look on his face at the answer”

He replied to the Pizza Man, ‘Mate, are you fair dinkum?.. The Butcher went on with his voice almost trembling in despair, rhetorically echoing the Pizza Man’s statement back at him… “Mate are you really telling me that you spend 3 hours each week squeezing the meat out of my sausage skins?”

“Still in shock, the Butcher continued in despair”

“Mate, I spend 3 hours each week shoving 20kg of Italian sausage meat into those bloody sausage skins!”

Silence fell across their conversation for a minute, til the Butcher said, ‘Would life be easier for you if I just made 20 kilos of sausage meat for you every week and not put that meat into the skins? It’d save me 3 hours and it seems it’d save you 3 hours too?

I’ll repeat my opening question…

Do you really know what your Customer wants/needs?

Are you 100% sure?

One of my current presentations to conferences, offices and consulting clients revolves around the 4 consumer trends of Speed – Simplicity – Personalisation and Transparency.

• Speed – What are you doing to make your ‘boat’ go faster?

• Simplicity – Do your processes make you easy to do business with?

• Personalisation – Is your customer journey dictated by how you want to do business or how they want to do business? Do you nurture customer relationships or are they just a number?

• Transparency – In a world where societies cynicism is growing and we’re seeing a lack of trust in governments and corporations, are your processes transparent? Do your customers (and people) truly believe your business is 100% transparent in all that you do?

Or are you still thinking about sausages?…

Let’s chat. Peter Brewer – 0417630962 peter@peterthatpeterbrewer-com

(This is a parody Media Release issued without the consent or Knowledge of Virgin Media)

If the above media release was found to be true (which it’s not) what would your reaction be if you were a real estate agent in Australia or New Zealand?…

Is it time for Australian and Kiwi Real Estate Agents to lift their standards?

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Is that industry ripe for disintermediation similar to Uber and Taxis and Airbnb and the Hotels and accommodation industries?

Comment below.  

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