There’s some debate around whether the artist, Sting, wrote this song as a love song, or as a creepy song about a possessive partner in an oppressive relationship. It’s all a matter of perspective I guess. But it’s possibly a good segue to something that’s really troubling me with our society at the moment.
It’s been a while since I put pen to paper (figuratively speaking) but when I’m challenged, it’s my best way to rationalise what’s going through my mind when it’s troubled and hopefully, at the end, gives me some perspective and clarity.
In short, welcome to my latest brain dump. Apologies in advance. It’s one of my ‘wordy’ ones.
What am I troubled by?.. Well… Lots. But here’s a start. There’s no argument that the current social challenges created by protracted lockdowns and reduced freedoms is taking its toll on most of us. And, clearly, it’s affecting some more than others.
I want to be clear from the outset that my covid experience is not your covid experience. No judging or comparing by me here. I’m crystal clear that I’m one of the lucky ones.
Yes, I’ve lost 90% of my speaking and MC work through the cancellation of events across the country. My consulting work is also running at 10% of its normal demand as people understandably cautiously navigate a new normal. But I do have perspective.
I haven’t lost my house or my car. I haven’t had to sack any staff, or rationalise any assets to stay alive. There is food on my table and beer in my fridge.
I am still in possession of my sanity, although Tara would be happy to argue that point. I still have my health and plenty of opportunities to change my business model. (You should check out my new Zoom room.)
I live in a country where the governments I voted for (and also against) are doing what, in their minds, is their absolute best to fight for us all, against what is a constantly moving target, and I’m cheering them both on to do a job that I wouldn’t want in a lifetime.
So, what’s the cause of my current troubled mind?
Daily, I’m seeing social posts from some of my dearest friends turning darker. Conversations I’m having are less light with many people. It’s been a long 21 months. People are getting tired. Their resilience is being challenged more than ever before and, sadly, cynicism is taking over.
As a side comment: If you’re worried about the jab containing some kind of unknown poison, that’s totally your call. But, personally, I think we should be much more worried about the toxic effects of the cynicism that’s running rampant. If it’s allowed to infect us at its current rate, we’re gonna have bigger long term societal problems to face than a passing once-in-a-generation pandemic. ….. But I digress.
Those who know me well will know me as an optimist. I pride myself on being that ‘glass half full’ kinda guy. And if that glass ever starts to get even a little bit empty, I’m first to the bar to fill it up again. Optimism and positivity are what keeps me sane.
Sure, I know that sometimes the world is crappy and shift happens, but I absolutely believe that we are our own best motivators. (For many years, it was my bank manager. But decades of bloody hard work eventually silenced him!)
But not only are we our own best motivators, it’s the things we say and do that also motivates others. Lots of others. Both positively and negatively.
Now, I’m not suggesting that we all run out and start posting motivational memes every Monday*. *In fact if I see you doing that, I’ll probably come over and tap you on the shoulder, fiercely. I draw a hard line at not posting Motivational Memes. Please keep those for your own vision board.
What I am saying is that the message you send out socially or in person can have a really profound effect on your Tribe and beyond.
Now before you accuse me of ‘pulling a Zuck’ and suggesting that what you say, do, and post should be censored. I’m 100% not. Knock yourself out, baby! Post what you like. Have an opinion. Don’t be a sheeple. (whatever TF that is)
But please remember, what you, and if you’re in business, your people, say, do, and post has both direct and indirect consequences..They are the messages of their – and your – brand.
In 2011, I wrote a few pieces for a business I was involved in at the time. The pieces related to the commercial perils of some of our sales team sharing some very strong opinions online about the politics of the day. Are you picking up what I’m putting down here? Eg: “Rudd’s a Dud” “Rippof Rudd” “Kev the Clown”, etc etc. Passionate? Yes. Good for business? No.
Fast forward from 2011 to today. I’m now witnessing some of my colleagues share some incredibly strong opinion pieces relating to the current situations we’re all being challenged by in Oz.
Comparisons of our current circumstances to Nazi and Jewish death trains.
References to similarities between our lives and oppression and communism, and the Tiananmen Square Massacre.
Today, I read a comparison that we’re all victims of domestic violence, being held hostage at home by an oppressive partner (i.e., the government).
Clearly they’re not views I subscribe to, nor do I think most of us do.. But they are opinions or examples shared by colleagues, some who hold senior roles in our business world today, and frankly I’m amazed that their employers, as responsible community citizens, are actually OK with it, or blissfully unaware of it.
And seriously, i’m reading these posts at the same time I’m reading about our colleagues new ‘beamers, their impressive watch collections, or how they’’re killing it or crushing it by setting seemingly new street or suburb records almost every day.
That certainly doesn’t sound like oppression or communism to me!
In the pieces I wrote for our team in 2011, I reminded our people of the golden rules of not talking politics, sex, or religion online. It seemed reasonable in 2011 to remind our team of those days that simple basic political numbers suggested that 50% of your audience would applaud and back-slap you for your witty humour or loud political opinion, and the other 50% of people would think you’re an absolute dick, and would take an oath on a stack of their favourite religious doctrines to never do business with you again.
Now, those numbers may not worry you in slightest, and that’s totally cool. I’m not telling you what to do. In fact, Tara goes to great pains to remind me that we’re all wired differently, and I acknowledge, that at 61, I’m getting into that ‘grumpy old man’ territory.
I’m just saying that there are consequences for actions, whether it’s 2011 or 2021. Whether it’s Politics, Sex, or Covid that you feel the need to share your passionate opinions, or wild conspiracy theories about, that’s 100% your right. To take that away would be genuine oppression or real censorship.
Personally, I choose to share optimism.
I personally choose to leave a mark of positivity. Of course, I’d like to understand vaccines better, and the actions of governments of all persuasions over my 61 years has left me with a healthy dose of skepticism. But, on balance, I am prepared to give them my trust to look after the best interests of my community. They have families too, and none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.
But I really only have one conclusion and message today. It’s simply this. Just as I have. Please, before you hit ‘Post’ on anything you share on social media, give some solid consideration to the value of what you’re sharing. Consider whether it adds to the current rampant toxicity, whether it’s valuable, and whether you want it to be a permanent record of ‘Brand You’ once all this fades. And it will.
I just want to share a reminder that there’s a silent majority out here, as Sting would sing, “watching every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake, they’ll be watching you.”
What will they be seeing and remembering? I know what I choose.
Wow that was thought provoking like you I’m a genuine optimist and try to share substance but it’s good to be reminded to be careful thanks Peter?
Thanks Julia. REally appreciate your feedback! Keep smiling!
Love this PB, you are a very wise man.
Thanks for reminding me about the better things in life.
Love ya Lyn! I don’t think you need any reminding about the better things in life!
Well said PB. I love your optimistic outlook. Always brings a smile to my face on my daily scroll!
Thanks Jimbo! Keep being awesome! I showed Mum a picture of you and your team last week. I had to remind her that ‘Young Jimmy’ had grown up quite a bit! 😉
Peter
You have written such an intelligent and sensible article which I totally agree with, especially about never using motivational memes.
Always be nice, positive and work hard even in lockdown.
Read “The Middle Part of Fortune” by Frederic Manning
Thanks James! Always enjoy your wisdom. I’ll grab that book.
Peter, how can it be that after all these years that we have known each other, you and I have never disagreed on any single thing? That still remains the same, after reading your fine article today.
To be completely honest, I struggle to find the truth about covid now. Does anyone really know the full story?
I think not.
We have great division in my own family on this and I have surrendered a very long standing friendship because of vehemently held opinions regarding the pandemic. This is one of the sad byproducts of these unprecedented times. I am sure that I am not alone here either.
Who is right and who is wrong?
I am not brave enough to fight over the differences of opinions that are so strongly held. Why? Because most aguments sound logical.
At the end of the day, we simply need to respect that others have different opinions and that we all have to make our own decisions.
Lets just all work hard to be around at the end. As you said, it will end.
Thanks Peter for sharing your thoughts.
Hey Lovely Lady! Its all just a bit insane isn’t it! It’s actually heartbreaking to see people behaving so very badly towards each other. Really appreciate your thoughts Rhonda. Perhaps we’re not the crazy ones!
Peter thank you for this. As an optimist I’m struggling, drowning in all the noise. So I’ve retreated to what I know is good, true and fills me with hope. That’s in true order: my grandsons, steve, my family and friends, not reading most of fb and spending more time reading books. Miss you both terribly ?
I’d say you’ve got those priorities in perfect order Rosey!
Much love! Miss you!
You are the best and I miss and love you and Tara. Beautiful and wise words. I have not been my normal self on the “light.” This all hit home too hard. I told myself, some of us are just dormant to survive – little seeds that will soon bloom again. I try to avoid “online fights,” but I try to do more action off-line as I think more positive change happens more when we bring humanity back to the equation. The one thing that keeps repeating to me in my head, we’re humans. We are imperfect and in the journey for truth, there lies ugly and beautiful items. While I have lost a lot of friends and respect for quite a few, I do realize being isolated creates its own chaos and people are scared and with those variables sometimes creates bad choices. Some may heal, and some may have become chapters in my life. Many I can forgive, but some I will never forget. But through all of this, I also have admired how many good people there are in the world. I have also learned what’s really important to me and my time. And I am beyond grateful to have crafted a space full of funny and good people. The light will be back. Keep doing your thing and shining your light, my friend. I love you both. Love you both.
Testing times my friend. But you’re right. The light will shine again.
Much love to my favourite HO! XXXX. Miss you!
Well said Peter. We in Qld are truly the lucky ones but it could change in a heartbeat. My heart goes out to the young people whose memories will be shaded by the times we live in now.
I see so many of them depressed as the news at every turn is negative. Everyone needs to find a positive in everyday.
I make it a daily habit now to pick up the phone and call 3 interstate people I know and ask them. Are you ok. Just a chat , I don’t know if it makes a difference but it makes me feel better to make contact.
I hope we can get back to the days of mad conference fun and games at some stage. It’s sad your jackets are staring at you from your wardrobe.
Love ya Dot! And I love that you’re making those phone calls. Such a great thing to do for a fellow human!
Much love!
Peter
Social media has provided a platform for the opinionated. It’s also a mechanism to feed the endorphin rush one generates when your opinion gets a reaction. It doesn’t seem to matter what sort of reaction you get as long as you get one.
In other words social media encourages and promotes divisive social tribes.
Truth Pete! Perfectly said. Hope you’re really well Mate!
Pete, this is one of the most level-headed and sane articles I’ve had the pleasure to read lately. I totally applaud agree with your stance. Love or hate the ‘brand’ of government in power at the time, they are doing their utmost to steer the country through this minefield we currently find ourselves in. I truly feel for everyone doing it tough right now, the struggle and burden must be enormous for so many. But, as you say, it is how you leave your mark (unfortunately social media is a mark) that maybe, people need to consider how it will fare in hindsight. Anyway, bloody good article. Talk soon. Chris.
Cheers Legend! Thanks for the vote of support and kind words.
You know what I love? That I can talk about hard topics, real topics, TOUGH topics, and STILL be a positive, respectful human being. It’s not that we can’t post or talk about real things. It’s that we all need to learn to do it respectfully.
Respectfully yours,
Val
Amen! Hope that you’re really well!
Great writing Peter. You have given everyone who reads this a compelling argument for optimism, perspective, gratitude and respect – values which will keep our minds and spirits healthy as we continue to navigate change and uncertainty. Well done. Most of all taking the time to pen and publish it demonstrates real leadership. Thank you.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the vote of support, Rose. I love your words “a compelling argument for optimism, perspective, gratitude and respect – values which will keep our minds and spirits healthy as we continue to navigate change and uncertainty”.
Stay safe. <3 that you <3 what you're doing.
Peter, I have been deliberating on writing a similar piece. Well done my friend. You captured many of my sentiments. Wishing Tara and you well as we continue this crazy journey. If I can ever be of support, let me know. Again, thanks for putting pen to paper with this important message.
Thanks Jim, really appreciate you dropping by and for the kind words and offer of support. Stay well and safe my friend. Tata sends her best too!
Well said Peter a very positive piece that puts life into perspective.
Thanks Ed. Hope you’re staying safe my friend.
Thank you Peter, a voice of reason in a world of turmoil. A world in which we hope we’ll see our families again before age and the inevitable catches up with us. Take care.
Thank you Margaret. How good would it be to be getting on a plane to visit loved ones! X
Unbelievable
You’re 61?
How you view that comment depends on your perspective!
Ira … who posts knowing online is forever
And I’m getting older! And in a few years time there’s a slim chance that I might grow up as well!
Much love to you my friend.
I have read many opinion pieces this past 21 months and I must say Peter that reading this was so refreshing. The complexities of our current state are so deep and broad that everyone is in a state of flux and languishing i between what was and what will be. Sides are being taken and extremism is being chosen as a position on both sides of the Debate but you have cut to the chase so eloquently and shown a totally “other “ perspective that can have a bigger consequential impact on RE industry lives than some inconveniences to our privileged entitled lives. Choices need to be made and they seem to be now very simple: take the 21st century route and then live in the 21st century with Covid or take the 17th century route and try and live in the 21st century with Covid .
Thanks John, I really appreciate the support. We can only pray that some common sense kicks in. And soon.
Empathy is having the ability to view other peoples point of view, not agreeing or disagreeing, a simple understanding that some are doing it tougher than others as some states are in completely different situations, therefore show empathy. We are not all in this together, look at the state premiers.
I loved debating at school yet this seems to be abolished from all aspects of life, media and social media – it is I’m right you are wrong full stop no debate or discussion.
Mass media and many other sources of communication impact on people’s responses including time of day etc.
Medical practitioners provide various methods to handle stress, frustration and depression yet there is no one size fits all. Sometimes people need to vent as long as it doesn’t hurt others and people empathise with each individuals situation.
Peter, we have had such a discussion which did not end the way I expected yet I guess stepping into other peoples shoes and agreeing to disagree is difficult for all parties involved in a two way communication.
Great blog and as always, open to interpretation and opposing views.
Appreciate your input and perspective Warren. Thanks for sharing it. Covid has certainly been a fascinating learning experience for us all. I’m always up for engaging in a well presented respectful discussion. It’s how we both earn our respective livings. We should aspire to be shining Six Star examples for others to follow. Thanks for dropping by!
Hey Peter (and Tara)! I so appreciate you taking the time and effort to write this article. I’m afraid it took me a long time, too long, to come to the realization that trying to put my opinions and beliefs onto others was the wrong way to go about things. I learned eventually, and now I keep my opinions to myself, at least around sensitive topics. What a time of self reflection and subsequent growth this past 17+/- months has been. Phew! Stay well!
G’Day Suzanne! How awesome to see you pop up here! Ta for taking the time to read my piece and give some excellent commentary. It sure has been a crazy 17+ months! I think we’ve all picked up some wonderful personal learnings, and learned a lot about many ion our social circles. Hopefully we’ll be allowed on a plane to come visit you all again sometime soon! Much love! X
Pete a dear friend shared this with me this morning as it was a topic we’d been discussing last night because we were concerned at some of the messages that we’ve been seeing people post. People that we know, who are normally positive and optimistic but who currently seem to be struggling to such a degree that their posts are becoming dark and somewhat disturbing. Our concerns for them being firstly…are they ok? And secondly…what affect is this having on their ongoing business?
As you know, Gaz is in travel…an industry that for the past 18 months has been affected probably more than any other…especially for those who specialise in overseas travel. Not only have they had no bookings or income coming in, they’ve had to refund a whole year’s worth of commissions on all the bookings that have had to be cancelled over the past year…a double whammy! They couldn’t just close up shop because what would happen then to all of their clients waiting on refunds and credits and needing to carry out cancellations, let alone those poor clients trying to get overseas to say goodbye to loved ones on their death beds.
These have been the most testing of times and yet he continues to get up every single day looking for the positives in what lies ahead. And like you, he continues to be optimistic about our future and about people in general.
Thanks for writing this article because it’s helped remind me what an absolute champion my hubby is. I probably better go and tell him that ?
Sending lots of love to you and Tara xxx
Ta Jax! It’s the incredible stories of the real heroes like Gaz that really need to be shared. They’re the stories that evoke optimism and positivity and the critical message that there are truly good people doing inspiring things for fellow humans. It shows people that there is hope. I can’t think of too many things that would be as soul destroying as what Gaz has had to endure, yet I’m sure his trademark smile is continuing to shine through it all. Give the old bugger a hug from me as well!
Love from Pete and Tara!
Some of the wisest words I ever read Pete!
Thanks for that DW! Too kind!
As always, commonsense prevails with you! Finding out a friends 3 yr old daughter has a brain tumour has put everything into perspective this week. No more whinging about the ‘inconvenience’ of having to wear a mask or ‘check in’. Counting my blessings, loving my family and amazing friends and respecting that decisions being made on our behalf have kept us safe and sound, we are so quick to judge yet what would we do if we were in their shoes? Enjoyed our brekky and chat the other day and love to Tara x